A little multiple choice for a Saturday...
Please pause for a moment, reflect back, and take the following Multiple
Choice test. (The events are actual cuts from past history. They actually
happened! Do you remember?)

1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred
by:

a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:

a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis and his entourage
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

3. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. A Boy Scout troop from Newark NJ
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

a. A Domino's pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera searching for Al Capone's secret vault
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70-year
old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair
by:

a. Kermit the Frog
b. The cast of the Love Boat
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy
diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:

a. Captain Kid
b. Clarence Thomas
c. Lee Marvin
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

a. Scooby Doo
b. Moe, Curly and Larry
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

a. Richard Simmons
b. Joan Rivers (pre-facelift #42)
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary, to distract attention from her husband's latest bimbo eruption
c. Vince McMahon and The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to
take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into
the Pentagon and the other was diverted to a crash in a Pennsylvania field
by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by:

a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

a. Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker
b. The Baptist Church
c. The National Football League
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002,reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

a. Bonny and Clyde
b. Jimmy Kimmel and that other loser from The Man Show
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope,.........I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling,
do you?

So, to ensure we Americans never, ever offend anyone, particularly fanatics
who still believe toilet paper is a sin and are intent on killing us,
airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They
must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline
pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents with proper ID who
are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with
metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former Governors.  ¶ 8:19 AM