The Ugly American: From my Mom this time... Locations of visitors to this page
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The Ugly American
Friday, September 04, 2009
  From my Mom this time...
I occasionally get emails from my mom. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought she actually made this list up! I'm pretty sure I've heard jsut about every one of these at one time or another in my life...


25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. *My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE *. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. *My mother taught me RELIGION *. 'You better pray that will come out of the
carpet.'

3. *My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL *. 'If you don't straighten up, I'm
going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. *My mother taught me LOGIC *. ' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. *My mother taught me MORE LOGIC *. 'If you fall out of that swing and break
your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'

6. *My mother taught me FORESIGHT *. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you're in an accident.'

7.. *My mother taught me IRONY * 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to
cry about.'

8. *My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS *. 'Shut your mouth
and eat your supper.'

9. *My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM *. 'Will you look at that dirt on
the back of your neck!'

10. *My mother taught me about STAMINA *. 'You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone.'

11. *My mother taught me about WEATHER *. 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado
went through it.'

12. *My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY *. 'If I told you once, I've told you
a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. *My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE *. 'I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out.'


14. *My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION *. 'Stop acting like your father!'

15. *My mother taught me about ENVY *. 'There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. *My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION *. 'Just wait until we get home.'

17. *My mother taught me about RECEIVING *. 'You are going to get it when you
get home!'

18. *My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE *. 'If you don't stop crossing your
eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'

19. *My mother taught me ESP *. 'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know
when you are cold?'

20. *My mother taught me HUMOR *. 'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me.'

21. *My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT *. 'If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. *My mother taught me GENETICS. * 'You're just like your father.'

23. *My mother taught me about my ROOTS *. 'Shut that door behind you. Do you
think you were born in a barn?'

24. *My mother taught me WISDOM *. 'When you get to be my age, you'll
understand.'

25. And my favorite: *My mother taught me about JUSTICE * 'One day you'll have
kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

There were a few more, but I'll cut mom a little slack and leave those off...

My family is on their way down here for the weekend. Looking forward to a great weekend!
 
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Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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Location: Virginia Beach, United States

20 year Navy vet, originally from NJ now living in Virginia Beach and yeah, Life Is Good!

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