I was thinking about this on Sunday...
I was thinking of some of the things I've learned over the years from being a father.
Some of the things are pretty standard. I've learned a little patience...girls are good for trying your patience. And what the hell does that mean anyway..trying your patience? Yeah, I tried your patience and I didn't like it, give me some potatos instead! I tried his patience and all it got me was a punch in the head! Go ahead, try my patience and see where it gets you...you won't like it!
I've learned a lot of new words and even made a few new ones of my own. The first new one I made wasn't really a new word as much as a new contraction. The word is g'way. It's pronounced just like it sounds, gway. I think I made this contraction up because I was constantly saying go away! and I'm just a little lazy like that.
I've also learned that there are an infinite number of ways to say, go ask your mother. You can even pose it in the form of a question! Like, what did your mother say? Or, did you ask your mother?
Yeah, it's pretty much a cop out kind of answer, but fathers learn this only one way. It comes from having your kids ask for things and you saying yes, or no, it doesn't really matter how you answered, just that you answered the wrong way, the wrong way as in, not the way mom would have answered it. It's the safe answer. Sure, you'll get grief like, can't you ever make a decision? Why do they always come to me? But it's better than the grief you'll get when mom finds out that you let them do that! Whatever that may be!
I've also learned not to ask what the ladies are talking about when they seem to be trying to keep things from me. I asked my oldest daughter what all the hush hush was about once and she screamed at me...I'm bleeding from my vagina!!! Talk about being sorry you ever asked a question!!! Now I know why my mother said she was glad she never had to raise girls.
So, there's my Fathers Day lesson for any new fathers out there that don't know yet how stupid they really are when it comes to making choices for their kids...
Have a nice day!