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The Ugly American
Monday, August 25, 2008
  My wife says I'm a redneck...
And I may very well be a redneck.

Dictionary.com gives the following definition:

red·neck (rěd'něk') n. Offensive Slang

1. Used as a disparaging term for a member of the white rural laboring class, especially in the southern United States.
2. A white person regarded as having a provincial, conservative, often bigoted attitude.

I am a little bit conservative. I don't believe I'm part of the white rural laboring class. I do live in the south though, although, that's not where I'm from originally. I don't believe myself to be provincial. I don't have a limited perspective as I've travelled the world and seen some things. And I don't think I'm a bigot. You do your thing and I'll do mine is more how I live.

There's a comedian out there that says you can tell a lot about a redneck by the t-shirts he or she has. Those t-shirts will tell you everything about a redneck. What kind of beer they drink, where they've travelled, there favorite teams, all that kind of stuff. Well, I have a lot of t-shirts.

I've also been to a few NASCAR races. I think the total may be up to eight races now. I've been to Phoenix, Charlotte, Richmond and Dover for races. I've been to hundreds of boat races all over the east coast.

I like to fish and hunt. I'm more into fishing. But I think that's more about opportunity than anything else.

But what I did last weekend may in fact, cement my redneckness.

About midweek my wife asked me if I had made any plans for the weekend. She told me that her friends husband needed a partner for a tournament at the beach. What kind of tournament I asked. She said that her friend said it was cornhole or something like that....HUH?!??! You want me to cornhole your friends husband? Baby, you know I don't go that way!!! Call her back and find out what this tournament is...you must have gotten it wrong...nobody cornholes at the beach, at least not in broad daylight!!! She called me back a little while later and said that her girlfriend had gotten it right and her husband wanted to "practice" that night...Yeah, okay, are you gonna watch too???

But I did a little research and sure enough, there was a cornhole tournament at the beach...at the same place they were holding the ECSC...that's the East Coast Surfing Championships.

I spent the weekend cornholing! yeah, you read it right. Cornholing.

Keep it clean you pigs!

Cornhole is a game. I believe it originated in the Midwest somewhere. It's actually a lot of fun!


It's a game similar to horseshoes. Played on a "court" that's about 30 feet long. The board is two feet wide by four feet deep and placed on an angle. The object of the game is to throw an approximately one pound bag of corn into a hole on the board at the other end of the court. Corn bags that go in the hole are worth 3 points and cornbags that stay on the board are worth one. Each player has 4 bags and they are tossed alternately from player to player. The game ends when one team reaches 21 points. You can play single player games or team games. There's less walking in the team game. But like horseshoes, if you play one on one then you walk back and forth between rounds and if you play as a two player team, one player stays at one end and his teammate plays from the other end. Get it? If you're really interested and most of you probably aren't, you can find the rules at American Cornhole.org or At vabeachcornhole.com. I guess they're our local authority on cornhole!

There starting up a league here in Va Beach and I'm thinking about joining. It's something to do on a Thursday night!

Hey, I had a good time and we finished seventh out of something like 27 teams, so we didn't do to bad! Considering that I'd never played the game before I think I did alright.

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Comments:
You expanded my knowledge base today. I don't know if I'll ever need to know that cornholing is a game, but I'll store that fact away. I may never be able to pull it up out of the depths of my brain but it will be there.

I guess I qualify as a redneck as well. I love NASCAR and my second vehicle was a 1970 Chevelle SS. :-) That sucker would SCREAM! I was 19 and all the 16 year old boys in town wanted to date me (if I let them drive my car.)

I'm also a gun-owner that loves shooting targets.
 
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Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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20 year Navy vet, originally from NJ now living in Virginia Beach and yeah, Life Is Good!

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