The Ugly American
The latest and greatest in "progressive" lawmaking...
Washington, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
'Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,' said California Senator Barbara Boxer. 'We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.'
In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S employer of Persons of Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement 'warehouse' stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, 'Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?'
'As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Michigan, due to her inability to remember 'rightey tightey, lefty loosey.' 'This new law should be real good for people like me,' Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.'
Okay, maybe this is just alittle bit of satire, but really, how close is it to reality??? It came to me in an email, I wish I was this creative!
Labels: humor, politics
I try to add things to this blog as often as possible...
I have this really nice camera...
...and I occasionally get lucky...
...and take some really good pictures...
I took these pictures from an airplane, obviously, on a trip back from Alaska. The last picture, I was about an hour outside of Las Vegas, is a lake that I can't identify.
Somebody should be able to, but it's not me. Remember, you can click on the pics and blow them up, so, if you think you might know what lake this is, let me know.
Have a nice day.
UPDATE! I think I've identified the lake in the picture. I did a little google search and came up with a lake that looks like this one. I believe it's Mono Lkae. It looks like it and it makes sense when you look at it on a map. LIke I said, I was flying from Portland to Las Vegas and when you look at the location and shape of this lake on google maps, it sure looks like it!
Labels: Alaska, life, pictures
You should really check out this story written in the Times, of London, I believe. It's a very entertaining piece of satire written in an old testament style. Check it out here
It goes to the media love of Obama and how he seems to have been appointed the messiah.
Labels: humor, politics
This just may be the coolest web site ever...
I love these kinds of pictures. Unfortunately, I don't own a satellite based telescopic camera, so I have to borrow them from the hubble web site.
It really has some of the most awesome pictures I've ever seen!
There are thousands of pictures like this at the Hubble site. I'm gonna put a link over on the right side, come back and check it often. In my humble (yeah right) opinion, it's definately one of the best places on the world wide web.
Labels: life, NASA, pictures
My Ten Reasons We Should! Or what's wrong with the Sierra Club?
I read, with contempt, on Sunday, an article in the paper titled “Ten Reasons Virginia Should Prevent Offshore Drilling.”, written by Eileen Levandoski, a member of the Sierra Club. My bad, not just a member, but the Hampton Roads conservation coordinator for the Sierra Club.
I’ll go through these ten reasons one at a time and see what I can come up with as to why I hated this piece.
Reason number one states that drilling now won’t do any good until 2030. How she knows this I have no clue, but I bet there were people saying the same thing when the moratorium on offshore drilling went into effect back in the day. It’s a BS argument. Not drilling won’t EVER do any good.
Nothing that we do today will affect the price of gas tomorrow. It’s an argument that I keep hearing. Drilling now won’t do any good. Fine, what will? Quit telling us everything that won’t work and come up with some solutions. And I don’t want solutions that won’t do anything today either. I want fixes that work right now, because we now know that drilling is not an effective strategy, because it won’t help us right now.
Number two, she says that all the infrastructure required for off shore drilling would be a national security issue. Meaning there’d be problems because it’s also a navy training area. I’m now going to cover two of the ten in this one, because later on she says in Number 7 that we could load the coast line up with windmills. Somehow, windmills wouldn’t get in the way like oil rigs would. For some in Hampton Roads, that would be a godsend! There are plenty of people that live close to NAS Oceana that would love to see the navy leave. Besides, the Sierra Club could give a hoot about navy training. This “club” is the same organization that took the navy to court over active sonar and it’s affects on marine life.
In reason number three she tells us there’s no oil out there. She states that there are only 3 or 4 percent of the worlds “PROVEN” oil supplies off the Atlantic coast. She says that there’s only 4 billion barrels of oil out there, only a 200 day supply, who knows in twenty years we might just need those extra 200 days. Let’s just wait. There’s also a statement in number 3 that says that we use 20 million barrels of oil a day in the U.S., I’m including that statement because it becomes relevant later on.
In number four she states that we shouldn’t give the oil companies any more drilling areas because they’re not using what they already have. She says these unused areas could produce an additional 4.8 million barrels of oil. But wait, don’t we use 20 million a day? So, the oil companies should stay where they are for that extra 6 hours worth of oil?
Number 5 says we shouldn’t let them drill for oil because they’ll get natural gas out of it too, or was it vice-versa? Does it really matter? Don’t we need both? That’s what I thought!
Number 6 says that oil production is a nasty business and it’ll chase away the tourists. GOOD! They’re a pain in the neck anyway! But really, isn’t the high price of gas already chasing away the tourists?
Number 7 say that if we’re out drilling for oil, we’re not putting money into alternate energy. This may in fact be the only valid point she made in the entire argument! She tells us that we could load up the area with windmills. But she blew number seven already because she said the navy couldn’t operate with oil rigs out in the ocean, so how can they operate with all those windmills out there. Windmills are a great way for attackers to mask their signature as they approach the coast line, most air search radars can’t distinguish between a helicopter and a windmill. That means that windmills are actually more hazardous to national security.
Number 8 tells us again how detrimental drilling is to the environment. But I look at it as structure for sea life. She talks about all these pollutants that would be pumped into the water. Strange, but I’ve never seen a slick in all my visits to the gulf coast. And trust me, I’ve been there. I lived there for a year!
Number 9 really isn’t worth talking about, but since it’s there, I’ll give it a try. Basically, what it says is, VA doesn’t have the gonads to stand up to big oil, that’s why they’re targeting us. I’m sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the largest port on the east coast or anything like that. It’s all because our politicians are a bunch of pansies…maybe they are, who cares?
Number 10 speaks to the fallacy that is global warming. I’ve read too many reports from to many scientists that tell me that global warming is a farce. Think back with me people. I swear, when I was growing up there was a global cooling scare…remember???
It's always reassuring when you Google someone’s name and find out that they're a regular at a place called the "Lefty Lounge". Yeah, that's who I want making policy in my state!
Anyway, there you have it. My top ten reasons the Sierra Club should shut the hell up.
Have a nice day!
Labels: life, politics
Check this out!
I tookthis picture with my camera phone this morning. I've never seen a moth like this one. He looks pretty cool!
Labels: life, pictures
So, what do I do with that jersey???
I have a few different ones, but what do I do with the number 80 Giants jersey I have hanging in my closet? giants.com
He was one of my favorites and now Jeremy Shockey is gone! Traded to another NFC team, which is just wrong. At least it's not an NFC East team! Jeremy Shockey is now a New Orleans Saint.
It's been a rumor since before the draft. I kept hearing that SHockey was gonna get traded, but I just didn't believe it. He's an excellent tight end. One of the leagues best. But he seems to bitch a lot and he gets hurt a lot, so maybe this is for the best. He never seemed really happy. He always wanted the ball more, but the Giants did better at the end of the year last year without him. I think we'll survive.
It really doesn't matter anyway, all the talking heads are predicting the Giants to finish no better than second or third in the division.
I checked the schedule, MY Giants don't play the Aints this year!
But now we'll see if kevin Boss can be the boss. He did well filling in last year, good hands, okay blocking, but Shockey wasn't any better at blocking when he first put on Giant blue.
That worked well last year, show MY team no respect and they make it all the way to the big game.
Seeya Shockey, it was fun watching you in Giants blue, don't think you'll look half as good in black and gold!
Labels: football, NY Giants, Shockey
I've seen this guy on TV...
This Texas oil man named T. Boone Pickens has a plan.
I'm not sure how I can help or what I'll end up doing on this site of his, but something has to be done. We have Iran threatening us, the worlds oil supplies are getting smaller and smaller and something really needs to happen. Solar and wind energy are a few of the options and one big one discussed on this web site is Natural Gas.
Let's see where this guy is taking us. Check out the web site, leave me some comments and let me know what you think.Visit PickensPlan
Labels: life, Pickens, politics
How long has it been for you?
I was driving around with one of my daughters yesterday when I spied an Obama bumper sticker on a car in front of us. No big deal, be proud of who you vote for, I guess. The last time I voted I literally went to vote for anybody that wasn't already in office, basically, I went to vote people out! Where do I get one of those bumper stickers?
I started to think...I know, scary proposition ain't it?!??! I wondered to myself, what was the last political bumper sticker I put on my car? I have tons of stickers on my truck. Most of them those oval shaped white stickers with 2 or 3 letters identifying different places. You know, like, BB for Bodega Bay, or CBBT for Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel. Stuff like that. But I have no political stickers on my truck. Unless retired navy or American Veteran count as political stickers...I don't think they do, but that's just me...
I've thought about putting a sticker or two on my truck. I see some that say things like, I fish and I vote, or I hunt and I vote, mean people suck, nice people swallow...oh wait, those aren't political! Those might not be appropriate...
The problem with some bumper stickers is that they make me want to run people off the road! I haven't, but the thought's been there. I see a PETA sticker on a car and I think, what an asshole! Sorry, all you PETA people, but after some of the stories I've read about PETA folks picking up dogs at Vets offices and euthanizing them and throwing them in dumpsters, I just don't like you guys. Get over it. The ones that get me the most might be the WWJD stickers. 9 out of 10 times the person driving that car never thinks to ask themselves that question before they cut you off or drive 45 in the left hand lane, or switch lanes without signalling.
...and yeah, I hate those blue stars too! You know who you are cowgirl fans!
...but honestly, I haven't put a serious political bumper sticker on a vehicle I owned since....Ronald Reagan ran for president!
I told my daughter that I really haven't been proud enough of my vote to advertise it in a long time and you know what? That's just sad!
Will there ever come a time again when we can all be proud of the folks that want to run our country? Or will we be stuck with this silly two party system that leaves nothing for a choice but the lesser of two evils?
Labels: life, politics
Check out the right side...
I put up this cuss-o-meter that I found. It says that I only cuss 9.4% of the time on here. Guess I need to "kick it up a notch!"OnePlusYou
I really do try to keep it somewhat PG. Guess it's kinda working!
I'll see how this meter reacts as time goes on...guess you will too!
Labels: blogstuff, humor, life
Vote for these guys!
Let's get the Stache and the Chesapeake boy into the AllStar game!
An oldie but a goody...
I got this in an email, but it's definately worth sharing...
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife
decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors,
and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also
Got this in an email today...
And as usual, I thought it was worth sharing...so, here ya go!
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
Front of him. When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
Jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee
From under the table And poured the entire contents
Into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health,
friends, and favorite passions -- things that if everything else was
Lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and
The sand is everything else --the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued,
"there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
Important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
"Take care of the golf balls first --the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand"
One of the students raised her hand and inquired
What the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked".
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Please share this with someone you care about.
I JUST DID.