The Ugly American: April 2008 Locations of visitors to this page
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The Ugly American
Friday, April 25, 2008
  Your tax dollars at work...
I'm down south this week working with the CG and I thought I'd share some things with you...Meet the U.S. Coast Guard's newest assets. This is USCGC Bertholf (WMSL-750). The first of at least three cutters of the Legend class. It's named after the first Commandant of the Coast Guard.
This is the Bertholf's LRI or Long Range Interceptor. I got to ride on this powerful little beast yesterday. I won't say how fast she goes, but I will tell you it has twin jet drives powered by twin 600 horse power turbo diesels. One of the coolest things about this pair is the way the LRI is launched and recovered.
If you look at this picture of the Bertholf, you can see that the transom has what looks like a door. That's exactly what it is and they open it and run that thirty six foot boat right up onto the cutter.
This last picture is a picture of the USCGC Waesche (WMSL-751). She's the second of the class and has a little bit of work left...

The Cutters are CODAG powered. That's Combined Diesel and Gas. Basically a turbine and a diesel engine hooked up to the same gear system which powers twin 5 bladed props. I won't tell you the top speed of these either, but I'm told that when they're underway screaming through the water that you actually have to go outside to see if the ship is moving because they just ride that smooth...

All of these assets are loaded up with the latest and greatest in electronics. The biggest berthing area I saw on board was an 8 man stateroom. Back when I was in the navy my rack, or bed for you non-navy types was in an 84 man berthing compartment. These guys got it made!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
  Did they say animal cruelty???
According to, authorities announced Moorestown, NJ Officer Robert Melia Jr., 38, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.

I'm sorry, but I find this very amusing...the fact that the only charge they could come up with was animal cruelty for this is really what made me laugh. And why only four counts? Or why more than one count? Who told the police he only raped four cows? And did they ask the cows if they were willing participants? How old are these cows?

I would imagine the cows just weren't satisfied and that must be the cruel part!!!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
  Finally, a weekend worthy of my boat...
I spent Friday on the water...I'd say I was fishing, but you might not believe me. I mean, I have no proof...

...but I did go out and watch some boat racing in Portsmouths' City Park on Saturday.

This first picture is of a class of boat called's short for Jersey Speed Skiff. I'm adding a link to a web site called Jersey Speed Skiffs dot Com I added the particular picture I did because that's my dad holding onto the oh shit handle like his life depended on it. Back in the day, my pop was one crazy dude. He raced in a different class of boat called an SK or Ski Racing Runabout. It was a 17 foot boat with a monster Chevy motor in it that went about 120Mph. And in between heats, when he was feeling exceptionally crazy he'd ride in one of these with his friend Herbie. I'm adding this link to show you that I'm not lying about my pop. If you look at the caption under the picture, you'll see my dads name. Trust me, it's my pop, I ain't that crazy!

I put the next pic in to show you how low in the water a hydroplane sits when they're not running. If you compare it to the picture below, you'll see a big difference. They really get up out of the water. I just never got that into the hydros I mean, after pop was a flat bottom boat racer.

I think what was probably one of the more amuzing things on Saturday was the fact that the fastest boat around probably wasn't even in the races. The picture below is an ocean racer, probably about 39 feet long and if you look closely at it, well not all that closely, you'll see 3..yeah that's right...3 300 horsepower outboards. That's 900 horsepower!!!

...and one ridiculous gas bill!
  got this in an email...and you know i like to share!
The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

As John Steinbeck once said:

1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

4. When seconds count, the cops are are several minutes away.

5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.'

6. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.

7. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle.'

8. Beware the man who only has one gun. He Probably Knows How To Use It!!!

But wait, there's more!

I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house. I said I did. She said 'Well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!' To which I said, of course it is loaded, can't work without bullets!' She then asked, 'Are you that afraid of some one evil coming into your house?'

My reply was, 'No, not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.'

To which I'll add, having a gun in the house that isn't loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank. I'm a firm believer of the 2nd Amendment! If you are too, please forward. If not, then lock you door and dial 911...................................then pray!

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur
Thursday, April 17, 2008
  I guess it's time to start spewing...
I didn’t want to…okay, I did, but I wanted to wait a little while longer. I’m tired of hearing that what these guys say or do isn’t relevant to their campaigns!

Listening to someone running for president lie about being under sniper fire or saying people cling to religion and guns as a way of coping with life because they’re bitter IS important. It tells you a lot about a person I think.

Let’s look at some of these…

We’ll start with Obama, just because his list is the longest. The first thing I heard was when his wife said, that this was the first time in her adult life that she was proud to be an American…Oh goody! I feel so much better knowing that people are helping her feel proud of the place that gives her the right to say she’s never felt proud to be from! Then I heard from her pastor and realized why she felt the way she did. Her pastor has been filling her and her family’s head with racist crap for the last twenty years!

Of course, Obama never heard any of this…only the good stuff the guy said over twenty years. My mother always called that selective hearing. I can remember her yelling at me when I was a kid…”you can hear those damned ice cream bells, but you can’t hear me calling you for dinner.” Years later, when the navy taught me about the physics of sound I understood that it was the tone of her voice that I was deaf too, I mean come on, mom’s a great cook!

The latest thing I heard from Obama is how middle America “clings” to guns or religion as a way of coping with the stresses of life because they’re bitter. I just love it when someone who makes $4 million a year tells the other folks who probably make more than that what makes middle America bitter. It’s like a plumber diagnosing you with a heart problem.

Maybe, just maybe, what makes middle America bitter are elitist assholes like Obama or Kerry or Romney or Gore or Clinton who just don’t get us, who can’t possibly understand what makes middle America tick because they’ve never been a part of it and have no desire to understand it either. I could add a bunch more names to that list…but what’s funny about it is that most of them are democrats and they’re the people who claim to stand up for the little guy.

Then we have Hillary and her misstatement. How do you misremember sniper fire? Let’s be real here folks! I had a gun pulled on me once and trust me when I tell you, it’s something you won’t ever misremember! I tend to believe that bullets flying over your head are pretty memorable too! But should we be surprised? Her husband looked all of straight in the eye…wagged his finger at all of us on national TV and said…”I did not have sexual relations with that woman…Monica Lewinsky!” It seemed to work for him, so why not for her?

I’m tired of it I tell ya. I just finished watching the first six episodes of the John Adams mini-series on HBO. All I can think is that if Adams and Jefferson and Washington saw today what they had created 200 years ago, they’d probably want to raze the whole thing!!!

Someone explain to me why I don't see that same elitist attitude from the son of a navy Admiral!

I never would have typed this today if I hadn't been flipping channels in between innings last night. Maybe I outta just stick to watching sports.

Have a nice day!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
  Bits & Pieces: If I didn't have dogs.....
Got this in an email and thought it fit pretty well...
Bits & Pieces: If I didn't have dogs.....
Friday, April 11, 2008
  A couple of rants for the day...
Sometimes, I probably shouldn't read the paper...I get so fired up about things...

I live in a barn. “Why would you say that Andy?”, you ask. Well, my house has the roof shape of a barn, as do a few others in my cookie cutter neighborhood. I could have lived in a different house, a more expensive house, but I chose the barn because it was what I could afford to buy when I went house hunting.

Now I keep hearing the three people running for president talking about bailing people out that are at risk of foreclosure on their homes. How is that my fault and why is the government going to use my tax money to bail these STUPID people out of their dilemmas? If you’re dumb enough to buy a house you could never afford then you deserve what you get.

Here’s the deal. Whenever I’ve been house hunting in the past I never relied on what the Mortgage broker told me I “qualified” for, but on what I figured I could afford as a house payment. Using a very rough formula of something along the lines of a $200K house is a $2000 a month house payment. Can I afford $2000 a month? If the answer is no then I guess I’ll shop for a $150K house. Just because the broker tells you that you qualify for a $1,000,000 house, doesn’t mean you should go out and buy a $1,000,000 house.

I’ve read a few times that there are approximately two million people that are in danger of losing their homes because of this mortgage fiasco. That means that we have three people running for the highest elected position in the country pandering to about three percent of the population. If I hadn’t decided a long time ago to keep this blog PG rated I might say fuck them! Somebody bail me out! Gas in my boat is costing me an arm and a leg!

And now, let’s talk about health care. I’m reading more and more about universal health care in this country. Another crock of you know what! My family and I get health care for $460 a year. “How do you get health care so cheap Andy?” I hear you asking. I earned it, that’s how! A lot of people in this country want something for nothing and that just ain’t the way it works. You want government furnished health care than do something to earn it. You don’t get something for nothing in the good ole’ U.S of A.

Why do I have to pay for your health care? I already paid for your freedom, now you want my tax dollars to pay for everything else you think you need. Get off your collective asses and do something to earn it.

Anyway, I haven’t ranted in a while, so I thought it was about time. I feel better now.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
  This may explain a few things....
Ever wonder how someone could sit in church for twenty years and never hear the racist rants of his preacher?
Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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Location: Virginia Beach, United States

20 year Navy vet, originally from NJ now living in Virginia Beach and yeah, Life Is Good!

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