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The Ugly American
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
  I just couldn't help myself...
Got this in an e-mail today....

Did you hear the one about the old Navy Vietnam veteran who asked the CNO to return him to active duty and send him to Iraq?

Of course the CNO refused and told the old sailor he had served his time in combat and should enjoy his golden years.

The old sailor wasn't at all pleased so he wrote the SecNav with the same request. Back came the reply for him to enjoy his golden years because Iraq was a young Sailor's war and no place for him.

That really pissed him off so he wrote his congressman a long heart wrenching letter laying out in great detail just why he should be returned to active duty and posted to Iraq Back came the reply almost word for word the same as the SecNav response... The old sailor is livid!



He went down to the beach in Norfolk, VA and bought a rowboat, and vowing to get to Iraq one way or the other he set out rowing his boat and singing the Navy Hymn, "Anchors away me boys, anchors away...", headed for Iraq . Saint Peter has been watching this grizzled old sailor all the while and was at first amused by it all but had grown increasingly concerned as the sailor displayed his commitment to his objective.

Saint Peter finally turned to God for advice on how to deal with the sailor. After hearing the saga unfold, God advised Saint Peter to be merciful and take the sailor's brain since that was the center of thought and he would simply abandon the idea about getting to Iraq. Now, having taken God's advice and removed the sailor's brain St Peter observed little if any change in the sailor's behavior. He continued to row his boat and sing at the top of his voice ""Anchors away me boys, anchors away...", ..."


A little frustrated at the results of his labor St. Peter turned again to his God and asked "now what do I do?" God Said well, take his heart, not even a sailor can function without a heart so that should end this sad tale. But when St. Peter had completed his task and removed the sailor's Heart he was again amazed that little if any change could be observed in his behavior as the sailor continued to row his boat and sing the Navy Hymn," "Anchors away me boys, anchors away...", at the top of his voice.

Once again St. Peter asked God for assistance with this most unusual situation for which there seemed no solution. This time God responded by suggesting that St. Peter should remove the sailor's testicles since everyone knows how dependent sailors are on testicles, why else would they have such a reputation about having the "balls to do anything".

Convinced this was the answer, St. Peter went right to work and alas, he removed the sailor's balls.

Again St. Peter observed the sailor who was now, with his balls removed, rowing in a never ending circle singing, "Off we go, into the wild blue yonder..."
 
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Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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20 year Navy vet, originally from NJ now living in Virginia Beach and yeah, Life Is Good!

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