Why I don't wanna move to Alaska!
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.
After about six months of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and a huge, bearded man was standing there. "Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night...thought you might like to come. About 5:00."
"Great," says Tom. "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Lars leaves, he stops. "Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem," says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin', too."
"Well, I get along with people; I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex, too!"
"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there.
By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.