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The Ugly American
Friday, January 20, 2006
  Watch out!
Last week I received an automated phone call from the Red Cross. They were letting me know that I was going to receive a flyer in the mail telling me the location of blood drives in the area for the next few weeks. It seems there's a serious shortage of blood here in Hampton Roads.

I'm all good with this, I donate blood all the time...as a matter of fact...the last time, they took TWO pints! See, I have O- blood. They call me a universal donor. Apparently anyone can use O-, but O- folks like me can ONLY use O-. I also had a Red Cross person tell me years ago that they use O- for premature babies...I guess that's safest as most newborns don't get immediately "typed" at birth and it made me feel pretty special knowing that I might save the life of a newborn. Plus, when I first joined the navy you would get what they called vampire liberty. Meaning, that if you donated blood, you got the rest of the day off! You know...what's in it for me???

Anyway, I got the list on Wednesday and decided I would donate yesterday. I found a place on the list that was about 5 miles from my house. It was a local Church of Christ. I got there, drove around the building and didn't see anything that resembled a Red Cross vehicle and the parking lot looked pretty empty considering what was supposed to be going on there.

I spotted a lady outside the church and asked her if she new anything about the blood drive. She told me she didn't, but she also told me that a door that she pointed to was usually open. I parked my truck and walked inside the church.

When I got inside the church the only person there was a little old lady and she was deeply involved in something at the other side of the church. I stood there for a moment until she looked up and saw me. "Oh my! What are you doing here!?!", she said to me. I tried to explain from the other side of the room. "What?" She yelled at me. I started to explain again when, from about 30 yards away, she raised her cane in the air! Like she was gonna hit me!

I put my hands up in the air...relax, I tried to tell her. I explained again and that's when she lowered the cane. For the next minute or two she continued to apologize, explaining how she was there all alone and unable to get in touch with her husband and how the doors weren't supposed to be unlocked...

I didn't get to donate yesterday...I'm gonna try again today. If that doesn't work..I'll try again on Monday...they're gonna take my blood dammit...plus, I need some cookies and juice!

I guess it's not just little kids that I scare at times...I'll tell that story another time...apparently I scare old people too!
 
Comments:
HA HA HA HA HA
You scared a little old lady, la la la da da
You scared someone at REd Cross, HA AHAHAHAHHA.
I don't know why the visual in my head of this makes me crack up, but it does. Too bad you didn't video tape it. Good money in elderly attacks.
 
You're still pimping that Political Junkie book, eh? The one that thinks its nonpartisan. Funny. The author's "I'm digging myself a new hole" responses were a riot as well.

Anyway, not as funny as scaring the old lady. :-)

Went to give after 9-11. I had been told I could not give due to Mad COw disease fears. I had visited (actually lived) there within the last six years. They still wouldn't let me give. Which, as it turns out, wasn't needed anyway.

Keep trying, you'll get your 100 pint pin. !!! It's an amazingly valuable thing to do.

I don't actually know what blood type I am.
 
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Vampire liberty--too funny!

Good for you for donating that blood. But I think it sounds all too "typical" that the local chapter wouldn't have their stuff together. I was also incensed at the dirty thieves who tried to steal the :"blood money" people had donated to the Red Cross for Katrina victims, et. al. They truly are vampires.
 
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Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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