The Ugly American: For my mom Locations of visitors to this page
Open links in secondary window
The Ugly American
Friday, February 04, 2005
  For my mom
I found this at chronwatch this morning. I thought it was worth sharing.

The following are different answers given by young school-age children to the given questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
3. Mostly to clean the house.
4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. He made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world, and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

How did your Mom meet your dad?
1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?
1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
1. About 30 years.
2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don't even have bread on them!

Describe the world's greatest Mom?
1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!
2. The greatest Mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts!
3. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

Is anything about your Mom perfect?
1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3. Just her children

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye-it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

 
Comments:
Ha ha ha...very cute. Now what's this about Caramel Hershey's Kisses? I haven't seen those here. But then I was really surprised to see *any* Kisses here...
 
On the eve of the boy's 5th birthday, I needed to read this! THanks for pulling my heartstrings and reminding me there is life after 30 five year olds rub cake all over the carpet.
 
Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home
Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

My Photo
Name:
Location: Virginia Beach, United States

20 year Navy vet, originally from NJ now living in Virginia Beach and yeah, Life Is Good!

ARCHIVES
October 2004 / November 2004 / December 2004 / January 2005 / February 2005 / March 2005 / April 2005 / May 2005 / June 2005 / July 2005 / August 2005 / September 2005 / October 2005 / November 2005 / December 2005 / January 2006 / February 2006 / March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 / July 2006 / August 2006 / September 2006 / October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / November 2007 / December 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / July 2008 / August 2008 / September 2008 / October 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / June 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / February 2010 / March 2010 / April 2010 / May 2010 / June 2010 / July 2010 / August 2010 / September 2010 / October 2010 / November 2010 / January 2011 / February 2011 / March 2011 / April 2011 / May 2011 / June 2011 / July 2011 / August 2011 / September 2011 / November 2011 / December 2011 / January 2012 / September 2013 / October 2013 / December 2013 / June 2017 /





Contact me!

andru8259 (at) yahoo.com

Links

  • i AM Promotions on Facebook
  • Search for gas prices by US Zip Code
  • Blogcritics: news and reviews
  • Powered by Blogger

  • Subscribe with Bloglines
  • Search4Blogs - Blog Directory
  • Real Clear Politics
  • FactCheck.Org
  • FoxNews
  • FrontPageMag
  • Slate
  • Drudge Report
  • My-Way
  • RightWingNews
  • ChronWatch
  • RefDesk
  • Google News
  • Google
  • Middle East Media Research Institute
  • CNSNews
  • Media Research
  • Snopes - Urban Legends
  • Worldnetdaily
  • The Smoking Gun
  • check those BS emails!
  • Hubble Image Page
  • Fun stuff!

  • break.com
  • Get Dehydrated Water Now!
  • Check your political compass
  • Check your moral compass
  • QuizFarm.com
  • Check Page Rank of any web site pages instantly:
    This free page rank checking tool is powered by Page Rank Checker service
  • HTML Stuff you need!

  • Click Here For HTML Goodies
  • Dynamic Drive DHTML code library
  • Who Links Here
  • eXTReMe Tracker
  • Get Free Blog Traffic
  • Nickname Generator
  • PageRank Checking Tool
  • Web Directory
  • Blog Directory