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The Ugly American
Monday, January 24, 2005
  The toilet seat question
This is a question that has garnered me many different reactions. I’ve been slapped, had beer thrown at me and basically been told I was a complete ass. They’ve either happened separately or in combinations. Actually, the combo deal is a slap and a name or a beer and a name. Can’t say I’ve ever had the beer, slap combo, yet.

Guys get yelled at about the toilet seat all the time. You’re either getting yelled at about it, you live alone or, you’ve been “trained”. If you leave it up, you get yelled at about how someone almost fell in. You leave it down and well, you know what you get yelled at for then. You get slapped when you make statements like, “next time I’ll leave it down” or “how many times you gonna sit down without looking first?” You can get a beer tossed your way for making statements like, “damn, it didn’t take me that long to train the dog to go outside!”

You see, the way I see it, you should look before you sit. Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night and lowered your butt down on some cold porcelain? I did! Once! And I promise, I’ll NEVER do it again! That’s the deal. You’re supposed to learn from your mistakes. I never sit on a toilet seat without looking first! Well, I shouldn’t say never, I did do it once.

I personally think I prefer to get yelled at. It’s not as painful or messy as the other two alternatives and to be perfectly honest, I’m barely trainable. But it is fun to try to entice one of the other reactions. It’s payback for the estrogen overdose I’m subjected to every day of my life!
Personally, I've always thought that whoever cleans the toilet should get to decide whether the seat should be left up or down.

You actually got slapped? What's up with that?
It was the statement about getting the dog to go outside...I think it was equated to the term for a female dog???
OMG! How funny!
Just put the seat DOWN! lol
I don't think it's about whether or not women can see the toilet or not. It's just a courtesy thing. People seem to be losing their sense of courtesy (in general).

If you got slapped, that sounds like a personal issue between you and the person who struck you. I feel sorry for her , since she is obviously disturbed, and I'm sorry that she took it out on you.
I'm with Tammy. Whoever cleans the toilet should get the liberty of choosing. But am I saying that because I am the one who cleans it? Hmmm.

Saying that you'll leave it up as payback for estrogen isn't really fair. Estrogen torments the bearer as well, you know. (Seriously dude, have you been reading my blog? ~grin~ Holy crap!) The ravaging effects of PMS are by no means greeted willingly by either sex. (I recommend a little thing called Pamprin. It has stilled the evil beast within. Buy some. Give her some. Life will improve.)

Compound that with occasionally sitting down on the rim of the toilet, which I am going to crudely point out, is not just COLD, it is also sometimes covered in pee and... hairs...maybe the occasional poo splatter if somebody ate something gruesome. Seriously. Closely examine some toliet rims and you will be totally disgusted.
Hence my hard core affinity for bleach. But I digress.
Sitting on a toliet rim is hideous because then my neurotic self must sterilize my ass. Oh, I am soooo not kidding.
Next time your getting it on with your girl, just imagine her entire butt has been stuck to the rim of a toilet a little while ago. With all that....stuff. (winces) Germs...and ....(vomits) You'll start putting that seat down. It's not about cold. It's about nasty. Unless you're a bleach addict. Then, it's not so bad. Until somebody uses it again.

As far as the beer throwing and slapping, uh...dude? WTF is up with that?
Oh, sorry, I posted as anonymous. The last one was me. My bad.
Blogger, I've been looking around for ugly blog related blogs, and I came across this entry (The toilet seat question) during my search so I thought I'd write a quick note to let you know! I recently started a new blog called Ugly Blog, so 'd be happy to trade links if you're interested. Anyway take care and have a nice day! Eric
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Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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