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The Ugly American
Monday, January 31, 2005
  Wrong thing to say
This married couple were sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.
The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"
"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."
"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."
  what are you?

Thanks to sites like BlogExplosion and BlogClicker I’ve been finding out all kinds of neat things about myself. Below are a few of the things I’ve learned about myelf in the past few weeks.

The latest thing I’ve learned is where I stand morally, based on a conservative/liberal scale. As you can see here, I’m kinda in the middle. Just about where I thought I should be.Check out my Morality! 45% liberal, 55% conservative

Next I checked to see if I was white trash or not.

I am 43% White Trash.
Not Too White Trashy
The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.
Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom
I was a little disappointed here. I thought I was surely more white trash than that!

Next I wanted to find out what kind of blogger I am.

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What kind of blogger are you?
I guess being a pundit blogger is a good thing? Plus it had such nice things to say about my blog!

Then I decided to check my “horrorscope. I am a Leo.
(Also known as "Lion")
My Horroscope starts like this:
" From the early age, Leos are inclined towards drunkennes and extortion. When it comes to anything else, they show a remarkable degree of laziness. As a child, a Leo will typically demand a lot of money from parents, then from friends and even casual aquaintances. " (Read more Find yours This one just doesn’t jive with the white trash one. Now I’m confused!

Then I found a quiz that would tell me what kind of herb I am.

What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla How would you feel if a quiz told you you were poison?

This one came from a post on BlogCritics. I just had to know how American I am!I most definitely am an American. I figured that this quiz would come out this way. I mean, come on, what else could a quiz asking how American I am possibly come out?

So, you see, the internet has many uses. I'm so glad I've been able to find out all these nifty things about myself. I'm still bothered by that poison one though!

Then I wanted to know what kind of puppy I was so I took this quiz.

You Are a Beagle Puppy

Cheerful, energetic, and happy go lucky.
And your sense of smell is absolutely amazing!

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

A beagle? I mean, beagle pups are cute and all, but that yapping all day long, well, I guess that fits then!

Next, I really, really needed to know if I was a loser so I took this one.
I am 32% loser. What about you? Click here to find out!
Thank goodness, there are a bunch more people out there worse off than I am!

Of course, I just had to find out how Nerdy I was so I went here!
I am nerdier than 13% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Thank goodness for that, not a nerd at all!

I also now know how weird I am. Which was an area of grave concern. Wouldn't wanna be a freakin' wierdo, now would I?

What is your weird quotient? Click to find out!

And the last thing I really needed to know was when I'm going to die. At least I have a little time left! First time I took it I was gonna die at 68, I've cleaned up my act a bit and got it up to 73!

I am going to die at 73. When are you? Click here to find out!

Have a nice day!

Sunday, January 30, 2005
  Check out the Morality test!
Check out my Morality! 45% liberal, 55% conservative

Where do your morals lie?
  How white trash are you?
I'm not to white trash..Check it out!

I am 43% White Trash.
Not Too White Trashy
The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.
Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom
Saturday, January 29, 2005
  I guess I'm a political junkie now
I got a book in the mail yesterday. Check it out. A lot of great information. The Political Junkie Handbook covers the A to Z of politics from both sides of every issue. I'm finding myself laughing at some of the information and doing the old Johnny Carson, "I did not know that" line in my head with other stuff.

Towards the back of the book there are several lists that are most definately amusing. One list defines the difference between the left and the right. One of the differences that made me laugh was the left says "stop global warming" and the right says "stop global whining". When you think about it, that kind of says it all. Another is the left says 2+2=whatever, the right says 2+2=4. Goes along the lines of how the left views grading systems in schools. Another is group rights, individual rights. Simple easy ways to see the differences on stances. How about humanity and individuality or mass transit and automobile.

There's a list of 250 reasons conservatives hated Clinton and another 250 why liberals hated Reagan.

I found a list of quotes and I think the best one was a Churchill quote, "History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it."

I would say Michael Crane has done an excellent job compiling a lot of useful data. Definately a good read.
Friday, January 28, 2005
  More stupid jokes to start the day
Joke #1

A group of Arkansas friends paired up and went deer hunting. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

Joke #2

Two antennae meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was terrific.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Two peanuts walk into a was a salted.

A sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry we don't
serve food here."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra......

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says: "A beer for me and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says: "Does this taste funny to you?"

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
The doctor says, "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
The man asks, "Is it common?"
The Doc says, "It's Not Unusual."

Two cows standing are in a field.
One says, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says the second.
"It's true, no bull!" the first cow replies.

An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
The vet says, "let's have a look at him."
He picks the dog up and examines his eyes and teeth and says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?" exclaims the man, "because he's cross-eyed?"
"No," says the vet, "because he's really heavy."

I went to buy some camouflage trousers but I couldn't find them.

I went to the butcher's and bet him 50 bucks he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He refused the bet, saying, "No, the steaks are too high."

I went to a seafood disco last week and danced so much I pulled a mussel.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver's license. He has to take an Eye Test. The clerk tells him to read a card with the letters
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'.
"Read it?" the man replies, "he's my cousin."
  More PC BS from the Right this time!
More PC BS, from the right this time!

Rep. Judson Dexter, R-Swanzey doesn’t want the New Hampshire state motto to be put on the state flag. He says Live Free or Die is divisive! That it’s unworthy of a place on the state flag. Even though it’s been the states motto since 1945! The words were first written by General John Stark, in 1809. He wrote, “Live Free Or Die; Death Is Not The Worst of Evils.”

But Dexter says, “The words ‘Live free or die’ are a politically and emotionally charged phrase that we know has caused the state legal problems in the past,” He wrote those words for the House Executive Departments and Administration Committee, of which he is a member.

I’ve always thought that New Hampshire had the coolest motto. I always wanted to say I was from NH just because of the cool motto! I mean, NJ ain’t too bad, Liberty and Prosperity, but come on, Live Free Or Die! It’s just too cool. It always seemed to me that Live Free or Die was what this country was founded on, but now, thanks to PC BS, it’s a political statement.

Think about this now. What’s next, New York’s motto is “Higher”. I heard NORML wants to adopt that one. Wyoming’s is “Equal Rights”. That’s a seriously political statement. Nebraska, “Equality before the law”. Good luck Nebraska. Ohio is doomed, “With God, all things are possible”. Nevada, “All For Our Country”. Not in this day and age! Oklahoma, “Work Conquers All”. Work, you expect me to work? How about Maryland, "Fatti maschi, parole femmine". The literal translation is Manly deeds, womanly words or Deeds are male, words are female. That one should be struck down immediately!

You get the picture. PC BS, is so, PC BS!

State Motto’s provided by

Original Story Idea from

What’s next?

Thursday, January 27, 2005
  What kind of blogger are you?
Fullfilling my BlogExplosion and Blogclicker duties again and I found this:

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What kind of blogger are you?

Well? Answer the question!
  A few of jokes to start the day
Joke #1

A man takes his wife to the State Fair and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls.

They come up to the first pen and there is a sign that says, This Bull mated 50 times last year." The wife pokes her husband in the ribs and says, "He mated 50 times last year."

They walked a little further and see another pen with a sign that says,"This Bull mated 120 times last year." The wife hits her husband and says "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walk further and a third pen has a Bull with a sign saying "This Bull mated 365 times last year." The wife gets really excited and says "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looks at her and says .... "Go up and ask him if it was with the same cow."

After nine surgeries and six years of therapy, the husband is now able to talk. It is hoped that someday he will walk again.

Joke #2

A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be self-sufficient gets the word that he is to return home. He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest.
He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."
The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The padre is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them. The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

Joke #3

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
I love this part....

"Only when he's been drinking."

Wednesday, January 26, 2005
  No Relief for the Lincoln
Now I see why all the groups want money donations, no clothing or food. Wonder how many "millionares" will be made from all the money pouring in there?

And people wonder why I'm The Ugly American!

Guest Column: No Relief in Sight for the Lincoln

By Ed Stanton

It has been three weeks since my ship, the USS Abraham Lincoln, arrived off the Sumatran coast to aid the hundreds of thousands of victims of the Dec. 26 tsunami that ravaged their coastline. I'd like to say that this has been a rewarding experience for us, but it has not: Instead, it has been a frustrating and needlessly dangerous exercise made even more difficult by the Indonesian government and a traveling circus of so-called aid workers who have invaded our spaces.

What really irritated me was a scene I witnessed in the Lincoln's wardroom a few days ago. I went in for breakfast as I usually do, expecting to see the usual crowd of ship's company officers in khakis and air wing aviators in flight suits, drinking coffee and exchanging rumors about when our ongoing humanitarian mission in Sumatra is going to end.

What I saw instead was a mob of civilians sitting around like they owned the place. They wore various colored vests with logos on the back including Save The Children, World Health Organization and the dreaded baby blue vest of the United Nations. Mixed in with this crowd were a bunch of reporters, cameramen and Indonesian military officers in uniform. They all carried cameras, sunglasses and fanny packs like tourists on their way to Disneyland.

My warship had been transformed into a floating hotel for a bunch of trifling do-gooders overnight.

As I went through the breakfast line, I overheard one of the U.N. strap-hangers, a longhaired guy with a beard, make a sarcastic comment to one of our food servers. He said something along the lines of "Nice china, really makes me feel special," in reference to the fact that we were eating off of paper plates that day. It was all I could do to keep from jerking him off his feet and choking him, because I knew that the reason we were eating off paper plates was to save dishwashing water so that we would have more water to send ashore and save lives. That plus the fact that he had no business being there in the first place.

My attitude towards these unwanted no-loads grew steadily worse that day as I learned more from one of our junior officers who was assigned to escort a group of them. It turns out that they had come to Indonesia to "assess the damage" from the Dec. 26 tsunami.

Well, they could have turned on any TV in the world and seen that the damage was total devastation. When they got to Sumatra with no plan, no logistics support and no five-star hotels to stay in, they threw themselves on the mercy of the U.S. Navy, which, unfortunately, took them in. I guess our senior brass was hoping for some good PR since this was about the time that the U.N. was calling the United States "stingy" with our relief donations.

As a result of having to host these people, our severely over-tasked SH-60 Seahawk helos, which were carrying tons of food and water every day to the most inaccessible places in and around Banda Aceh, are now used in great part to ferry these "relief workers" from place to place every day and bring them back to their guest bedrooms on the Lincoln at night. Despite their avowed dedication to helping the victims, these relief workers will not spend the night in-country, and have made us their guardians by default.

When our wardroom treasurer approached the leader of the relief group and asked him who was paying the mess bill for all the meals they ate, the fellow replied, "We aren't paying, you can try to bill the U.N. if you want to."

In addition to the relief workers, we routinely get tasked with hauling around reporters and various low-level "VIPs," which further wastes valuable helo lift that could be used to carry supplies. We had to dedicate two helos and a C-2 cargo plane for America-hater Dan Rather and his entourage of door holders and briefcase carriers from CBS News. Another camera crew was from MTV. I doubt if we'll get any good PR from them, since the cable channel is banned in Muslim countries. We also had to dedicate a helo and crew to fly around the vice mayor of Phoenix, Ariz., one day. Everyone wants in on the action.

As for the Indonesian officers, while their job is apparently to encourage our leaving as soon as possible, all they seem to do in the meantime is smoke cigarettes. They want our money and our help but they don't want their population to see that Americans are doing far more for them in two weeks than their own government has ever done or will ever do for them.

To add a kick in the face to the USA and the Lincoln, the Indonesian government announced it would not allow us to use their airspace for routine training and flight proficiency operations while we are saving the lives of their people, some of whom are wearing Osama bin Ladin T-shirts as they grab at our food and water. The ship has to steam out into international waters to launch and recover jets, which makes our helos have to fly longer distances and burn more fuel.

What is even worse than trying to help people who totally reject everything we stand for is that our combat readiness has suffered for it.

An aircraft carrier is an instrument of national policy and the big stick she carries is her air wing. An air wing has a set of very demanding skills and they are highly perishable. We train hard every day at sea to conduct actual air strikes, air defense, maritime surveillance, close air support and many other missions - not to mention taking off and landing on a ship at sea.

Our safety regulations state that if a pilot does not get a night carrier landing every seven days, he has to be re-qualified to land on the ship. Today we have pilots who have now been over 25 days without a trap due to being unable to use Indonesian airspace to train. Normally it is when we are at sea that our readiness is at its very peak. Thanks to the Indonesian government, we have to waive our own safety rules just to get our pilots off the deck.

In other words, the longer we stay here helping these people, the more dangerous it gets for us to operate. We have already lost one helicopter, which crashed in Banda Aceh while taking sailors ashore to unload supplies from the C-130s. There were no relief workers on that one.

I'm all for helping the less fortunate, but it is time to give this mission to somebody other than the U.S. Navy. Our ship was supposed to be home on Feb. 3 and now we have no idea how long we will be here. American taxpayers are spending millions per day to keep this ship at sea and getting no training value out of it. As a result, we will come home in a lower state of readiness than when we left due to the lack of flying while supporting the tsunami relief effort.

I hope we get some good PR in the Muslim world out of it. After all, this is Americans saving the lives of Muslims. I have my doubts.

Ed Stanton is the pen name of a career U.S. Navy officer currently serving with the USS Abraham Lincoln carrier strike group. Send Feedback responses to


I also posted this article at comment 6 has an interesting link to another letter written by a different officer. He has a completely different perspective.
  Gunner Palace
Have you checked out the trailers for the soon to be released movie Gunner Palace?

The information I’m receiving about this film says this, “The Soldier’s barracks are the bombed out pleasure palace (complete with swimming pool and putting green) of Sadaam Hussein's son - located right in the middle of the most volatile section of Baghdad. With total access to all unit operations and activities, filmmaker Michael Tucker provides an inside look at the war not seen on the nightly news. Gunner Palace is a chaotic, surprising, real and sometimes amusing look inside the Iraq war as experienced and told first hand by our troops.”

The trailers seem genuinely interesting and I think this may be something I’m looking forward to seeing. Hopefully, an honest look at what’s happening over there without al the MSM spin. I have read that this film will touch on issues like inadequately armored Humvees and even starts out with Rumsfelds declaration that major combat had ended.

I found this on Alternet. All politics aside. "I don't even know what my bias is anymore," says Tucker. "My bias has completely changed. I think that sometimes I sound like a raving right-wing lunatic and other times I sound like a raving socialist or something. But I'm trying to make something that's honest. And soldiers have a huge hang-up about it. All they want is for someone to tell the truth. Not embellish it." [Alternet]

David Hudson says on Greencine that Tucker has told him he’s received emails from both the pro and anti-war crowds. At first, he was hearing from conservatives, the pro-war crowd, thanking him for drawing attention to the sacrifice US soldiers are making in Iraq. The link to his site spread by digital osmosis via mailing lists, online discussion groups and so on, until, eventually, he was hearing from the anti-war side as well, just as appreciative for more or less the same reasons. [Hudson]

I’m looking forward to the opportunity to view this piece and I intend to do it with an open mind.

  More PC BS from the left coast, where else!
From KEZI in Oregon comes this piece of PC BS.

Pete Baker, a delivery driver for the University of Oregon, was told to remove his yellow “Support the Troops” stickers from his company vehicle that had been there for months. It all started when ONE person at the university complained and that’s how PC BS works. There only needs to be one voice of dissent and that makes what ever you happen to be talking about at the time a PC BS issue.

I understand that Oregon state law and university guidelines prohibit the use of public vehicles for the purpose of spreading a political message. The question then needs to be asked, is “Support the Troops” a political message? Or is it just what it seems to be, a way to show support for the troops, a way to show a little patriotism?

Mr. Baker says he’s not affiliated with any political party. He says that he believes the message of the stickers is a patriotic message, not a political message. I constantly hear from those opposed to the war in Iraq that they support the troops. Most can’t seem to stand the president but they love our fighting men and women. Statements like that tend to make me believe that most people believe that it is just a patriotic message.

One Oregon resident, Morgan Goulding of Eugene, says it comes down to whether or not state employees have the right to voice their opinions. Apparently, the answer is NO, at least not on the company vehicle! I wonder what they’d do if he got a tattoo?

I’d like to hear from the whiney little bitch that made the complaint in the first place. I’d like to know what it is about “Support the Troops” that bothers him/her so much that they felt that this PC BS complaint had to be made. Maybe, we just need to “understand” them. Like we keep being told we need to “understand” why the terrorists do what they do.

It should be interesting when I have to visit Oregon the beginning of next month. The one thing that makes me feel a little more comfortable is that red/blue map I keep seeing. It shows me that the area of Oregon I’ll be visiting is just a touch more red than places like the U of O!

For additional comments on this and some of my other posts go to

  My Horrorscope
Here's another thing I found during my surfing duties on BlogExplosion and BlogClicker There really is a lot of nifty stuff you can find out there!

I am a Leo.
(Also known as "Lion")
My Horroscope starts like this:
" From the early age, Leos are inclined towards drunkennes and extortion. When it comes to anything else, they show a remarkable degree of laziness. As a child, a Leo will typically demand a lot of money from parents, then from friends and even casual aquaintances. " (Read more | Find yours

Hey, it's something to do!
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
  What kind of herb are you?
I found this today, while doing my surfing duties on blogclicker and blogexplosion. What does it say about me when it indicates that I'm poison?!?


What herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Monday, January 24, 2005
  The toilet seat question
This is a question that has garnered me many different reactions. I’ve been slapped, had beer thrown at me and basically been told I was a complete ass. They’ve either happened separately or in combinations. Actually, the combo deal is a slap and a name or a beer and a name. Can’t say I’ve ever had the beer, slap combo, yet.

Guys get yelled at about the toilet seat all the time. You’re either getting yelled at about it, you live alone or, you’ve been “trained”. If you leave it up, you get yelled at about how someone almost fell in. You leave it down and well, you know what you get yelled at for then. You get slapped when you make statements like, “next time I’ll leave it down” or “how many times you gonna sit down without looking first?” You can get a beer tossed your way for making statements like, “damn, it didn’t take me that long to train the dog to go outside!”

You see, the way I see it, you should look before you sit. Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night and lowered your butt down on some cold porcelain? I did! Once! And I promise, I’ll NEVER do it again! That’s the deal. You’re supposed to learn from your mistakes. I never sit on a toilet seat without looking first! Well, I shouldn’t say never, I did do it once.

I personally think I prefer to get yelled at. It’s not as painful or messy as the other two alternatives and to be perfectly honest, I’m barely trainable. But it is fun to try to entice one of the other reactions. It’s payback for the estrogen overdose I’m subjected to every day of my life!
  Another great Poem from Russ Vaughn!
How many Liberals does it take to win a war?

How many of you Liberals does it take to win a war?
Well how the hell can we tell? You won’t fight one anymore.
You say that you support the troops, but the truth’s plain as your face,
You’d pull us from the battle, march us home in full disgrace.
You’ve no stomach for the fighting, got no mettle, got no pluck;
If you ran this war on terror, we’d be a very well plucked duck.
The wolves of Jihad smell your dread, can smell your craven breath,
And emboldened by the fear they scent, lust for our bloody death.

“But wait,” you protest piously , “We are fighters for the poor.”
Might we suggest you start to fight, before wolves come through the door?
Do you think they’ll still believe in you, your poor, your gays, your blacks,
When the wolves run wild among them, sinking fangs into their backs?
Think then that they’ll be caring, when they’re counting out their dead,
We inflict pain on a captive wolf to learn what’s in his head?
Do you really think, you bleeding hearts, when they bleed in scarlet torrents,
They’ll care we cage the savage wolves, search lairs without signed warrants?

For years we watched your “feel good” courts defang our criminal laws,
Handcuff our police, give felons rights, espouse the criminals’ cause.
Felonious wolves were freed to prey, and we suffered their wild rages
Till “thinking” men took back the courts, put the wolf packs back in cages.
With your same old clueless “feelings” you now decry this war;
And with your same old fuzzy logic, common sense you still ignore.
We must look into “root causes” and we must try to “feel their pain;”
Pardon if our eyes start rolling, at your same old lame refrain.

It’s hard to fathom whence you come, perhaps some flawed eugenics,
That begets utopian pessimists, sires optimistic cynics.
Thanks be the power to rule the land remains beyond your means;
A regime of yours, would be like, no doubt, being ruled by pimpled teens.
Your quixotic quest for a world love nest, denies some truths quite real,
Like the need to have some “thinking” folks to preserve your right to “feel.”
Abhorring blood on your own hands, there’s a hard truth you’ve ignored,
Someone else must take your plowshare, and beat it back into a sword.

So how many of you Liberals does it take to win a war?
Or is there simply nothing you believe worth fighting for?
How is it that you’ve never learned, like most when they grow older,
That appeasing badness is a bad idea, only makes the bad guys bolder.
Has your fear of spilling human blood made you Jihad’s useful fools,
Ignoring that their wolf packs never fight within the rules?
By your demand we stay our hand, you weaken and you bind us;
Forcing us to fight off wolf attacks with that hand tied behind us.

So we bend some rules, in war you fools; so what? Show some respect,
When it’s your fuzzy-headed “feelings” “thinking” men fight to protect.

Russ Vaughn
2d Bn, 327th Parachute Infantry Regiment
101st Airborne Division
Vietnam 65-66
About the Writer: Russ describes himself as a proud red-state retard amd a former Democrat 'til they made him politically homeless and the Republicans offered him shelter. He spent six years as a paratrooper and served in Vietnam with the 101st Airborne. Russ receives e-mail at
Friday, January 21, 2005
  I'm an American, are you?
I took this quiz at Liquid Generation. Pretty cool sight!

Hey, I watched Catwoman on DVD last night. All I have to say about it is it might not be the greatest movie in the world, but I could watch Halle Berry in leather with a whip for hours and not have a problem with it!

Really, it's not a bad movie as superhero movies go. Sharon Stone didn't look to bad either!

That's it for this movie review.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
  Worlds Thinnest Books
I found this very amusing, sorry if you don't:
by Jacques Chirac

by Jane Fonda

by Janet Reno

by John Denver

by Dan Marino

by Hillary Clinton

by Osama Bin Laden

by Bill Gates

by Dennis Rodman

by Al Gore



a Travel Guide

by Dr. J. Kevorkian

by Ellen de Generes

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by O. J. Simpson

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by Bill Clinton
with introduction by The Rev. Jessie Jackson
  Religion of peace MY ASS!
I just read about this heinous act today. A family of 4 was found bound and stabbed to death in their Jersey City, NJ home early last Friday morning.

Hassam Armanious, 47, his wife Amal Garas, 37 and their 2 daughters, Sylvia, 15 and Monica, 8 were found with their hands bound and their throats slit in their home. This, following threats they had received over the internet for speaking their minds about “the religion of peace”.

Mr. Armanious, an Egyptian Coptic Christian and outspoken critic of the Muslim faith had been threatened for speaking out against “the religion of peace”. Friends said he spent a lot of time in an internet chat room devoted to his Coptic Christian faith and had heated debates with Muslims at the site

The family was bound and tortured, before their throats were slit in accordance with the instructions for murdering nonbelievers, as spelled out in the “Religion of Peace” handbook, the Koran: (47:4) “Now when ye meet in battle those who disbelieve, then it is smiting of the necks until, when ye have routed them, then making fast of bonds.” The real bitch about this verse from the Koran is the line that follows. It’s a bitch because it makes no sense. Look here, “and afterwards either set them free as a favor or let them ransom (themselves) until the war terminates.” Kind of hard to set someone free after you’ve slit their throats!

These assholes, sorry, there’s no other word to describe them, inflicted the most damage on Sylvia, the 15 year old girl. According to news reports, she not only had her throat slit, but was repeatedly stabbed in the chest and in the wrist, were she had a Coptic cross tattoo.

What kind of man, or god for that matter, could possibly condone the murder of innocent children? Do they really believe that shit like this will get them into heaven, if there even is a heaven? What a bunch of tough guys, huh? An 8 year old girl…it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it! Having 2 daughters of my own surely doesn’t help matters.

I’ve been to several different Muslim countries in my lifetime and I always found it a little bizarre, no strike that, a lot bizarre that people would stop whatever they were doing, lay a small piece of carpet on the ground and kneel down and chant like they were having stomach convulsions every couple of hours, all the while, listening to some guy shriek over a loudspeaker that could be heard for miles.

Of course, there has been no one from the “religion of peace” community speaking out against this horrible crime just like every other time that a Muslim kills a non-believer.

OK, go ahead, spin this one lefty!
Thursday, January 13, 2005
  My take on bad drivers
I’ve lived and traveled all over the world and all over the U.S. I’m not exactly sure where the worst drivers are located but I am pretty sure that there are sucky drivers EVERYWHERE!

When I lived in San Diego years ago my folks came to visit me. After their visit, as we were driving to the airport my father made the observation that I was switching lanes without using my turn signal. I had to explain to my father that in California I was pretty sure that there’s a state law that says that if you see a driver in front of you signaling to move into your lane that you MUST speed up and take that position away from him or her. I was also pretty sure that it was a state law that all freeway exiting must be started from the left lane, unless of course, the exit is on the left side of the freeway, then you have to start in the right lane. They had to be laws. There were entirely too many people doing these things for that not to be the case.

I don’t remember learning this when I was younger, but there must be a law out there that states that if you’re doing 55 MPH, that you can do it in any freaking lane you want to! Those signs that say slower traffic keep right, or keep right except to pass mean everyone but YOU! I actually had a verbal sparing match with someone who had been issued a ticket for impeding the flow of traffic on Interstate 5 in San Diego. He was doing 55 mph, in the left lane. He actually believed that he was doing absolutely nothing wrong. He told me that if he was doing the speed limit he could do it in any lane he wanted to. Apparently, CHP didn’t agree with him. The thing about this is that while it’s illegal to impede the flow of traffic, it’s also illegal to pass on the right. So what are you supposed to do? Tailgate the person? That’s illegal too!

Why is it that when someone starts taking on a cell phone they automatically lift their foot off the accelerator? I keep hearing about states enacting cell phone bans in cars. This won’t do any good. If a person can’t hold a cell phone conversation while driving, what makes anyone think that they can hold any kind of a conversation while driving? If you’re gonna take away their phones, you better take away their passenger seats as well. If you can’t talk and drive you probably can’t walk and chew gum! Multi-tasking is not in your vocabulary! And while we’re at it, we better remove those pesky radio and CD players. Lord knows that tuning a radio can be a bitch!

Have you ever been driving down the road and seen a one car accident? I was driving to work one morning on the freeway and saw a car, about 500 feet in front of me do 2 360’s for no reason at all. No flat tires, no blown motor, there was absolutely nothing wrong with that car other than the loose nut behind the wheel. How about this one. In NJ, there are very large seawalls along a good portion of the oceanfront. I once saw a VW bug driving down the road attempt to move the seawall, for no reason at all other than, it was there. It looked like he just decided to make a left turn and BAM! 25 foot seawall! In a battle between granite and VW, granite will almost always win.

Here’s another one. Just because you turned on your signal does not mean that there’s room for you to merge. A turn signal is not Moses’ staff. It will not part the Red Sea and it will not make that 10 foot space big enough for you to fit your Excursion! On a side note, I think all Excursions should be painted yellow and have red flashing lights on top of them. They are big enough to be school buses after all!

So, in closing, remember, those signs on the freeway that say keep right, that means you! And if you see a little blue Dakota coming up behind you, GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!
Monday, January 10, 2005
  Is Saudi Arabia with us or against us?
This is a question that I’ve heard asked many times, but I don’t remember any of the taking heads ever answering it. The U.S government says that the Saudis are our friends, but their actions speak louder than our governments’ words.

The official state newspaper of Saudi Arabia says that our soldiers are scrounging body parts off of dead and injured Iraqi’s for sale on the black market. It even lists prices for different organs. The paper says that this happened in Abu Ghraib and “other” prisons also. The paper sights secret European reports for this information. If this is in fact a state run newspaper, why don’t our “friends” stop this misinformation from being published? I am kind of curious as to why our imbedded reporters haven’t reported any of these atrocities. They have no problem publishing pictures of some trailer trash bimbo with a leash around some scumbag’s neck, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t miss this story!

A fatwa was sent out last week that was endorsed by 26 Saudi “scholars” and mullahs. I put scholar in quotes because I think it’s ridiculous to use that word when talking about these assholes, but that’s what the press calls them. The fatwa said that it was a “legitimate right” for Iraqis to resist American troops. “Fighting the occupiers is a duty for all those who are able,” said the fatwa. “It is a jihad to push back the assailants…Resistance is a legitimate right. A Muslim must not inflict harm on any resistance man or inform about them. Instead, they should be supported and protected.” This from a government and a people that are supposed to be allies of the U.S. I wonder if these “scholars” ever put out a fatwa against Saddam!

The government of Saudi Arabia recently offered amnesty to Saudi Al-qaeda! They said amnesty or retribution. Hmmm, I wonder which one I would pick? I’ll take amnesty and a weapon for $2000 Alex.

Being The Ugly American that I am I’m not going to worry about who I offend around the world. Is it just me, or does this so called “religion” demand that its followers destroy the rest of the world? You know, kill all the infidels. Do the majority of Muslims around the world live in poverty? Or does it just look that way on TV? I mean, look at all those countries in the Middle East. These should be some of the richest places on the planet. All that oil money pouring in and what do they have to show for it? State run newspapers, schools for males only that teach hate, legalized female mutilations, state sponsored terrorism, state sponsored religion. Their people live in shacks without the basic necessities. No running water, electricity or anything that can be thought of as 20th century, let alone 21st! Where’s the fatwa against living in squalor? Where’s the fatwa against living in ignorance? Oh yeah, they want their people to be ignorant, that’s why they don’t want the U.S. there in the first place!

Isn’t this the 21st century? I can understand how some countries can still be in poverty. They have no “black gold” to sell to the rest of the world. There really is no excuse for any person that lives in the Middle East to live in poverty. I guess maybe if we were somehow able to keep the UN out of it, some of those countries might have more money. I do understand that the government is not required to hand out anything to its citizenry. I don’t expect it from my government. Then again, my government isn’t making obscene money from its oil fields. It’s also my understanding that countries like Kuwait don’t even do the work themselves. They hire it out to foreign workers and sit back and collect the income. Nice work if you can get it. I mean the sitting around part.

I keep hearing about some non-existent kindler, gentler Muslim religion. I’m still waiting to see it, or at least hear from it some time soon.

Go ahead, make my day!
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
  When the World Dials 911
Another great piece of art from Russ Vaughn

Disaster strikes a world away
We get the call, what do we say?

We move at once, to ease their plight,
To aid them through their darkest night.

But come shrill cries from carping Press,
That’s not enough to fix this mess.

We know that, fools, but give us room,
To counter Mother Nature’s doom.

America gives to those in need,
With no regard to faith or creed.

We’re there for all when need is great
A helping hand to any state,

That’s fallen under Nature’s wrath
And needs a lift back to the path.

So what they may have mocked our ways?
We’ll turn our cheek ‘til better days.

But there are those who hate us so,
They’ll carp and snipe and hit us low,

Who’ll bend disaster to their needs,
And try to choke us on our deeds.

They’ll play their dirty liberal tricks,
For them it’s only politics.

In the face of massive human pain,
They only think of their own gain.

But the world knows sure whom it must call,
When disaster strikes, when nations fall.

America is the beaming light
That fades, dispels disaster’s night,

And standing firm provides relief
To salve the pain, allay the grief.

So to Hell with what our critics say,
America’s fine, still leads the way.

Russ Vaughn
Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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20 year Navy vet, originally from NJ now living in Virginia Beach and yeah, Life Is Good!

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