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The Ugly American
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
  Still Whining After All These Years!
Believe it or not, I read! I read my local paper every morning. I’m subjected to the likes of Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman usually once a week. No, I don’t read the NY Times. My local paper, The Virginian-Pilot, is “kind” enough to reprint their BS. They’ve decided to stop printing Michele Malkin, apparently she’s too conservative for them and it’s supposed to be a balancing act of some kind. It’s not working.

I usually read 3 sections in the local paper. The front page section, you know, world, country and state stuff. I follow it with the local section. There are a couple of local writers I look forward to reading like Kerry Dougherty and the local section also contains the editorial section. I follow it with the sports page. I need something to wash the taste of the big bad ugly world out of my mouth!

My beef is with the editorial section. First letter I read this morning is from someone STILL whining about the 2000 election. How Gore won the popular vote and Bush stole the election. I think that the hide has been completely beat from this dead horse! It’s funny, but I remember having to dig for information about the recounts done by all the main stream media giants after that election. I guess that’s because the results didn’t turn out the way they wanted them too. No matter how many times the votes were recounted in Florida, W still won! As far as the Electoral College goes. That’s so the big cities can’t elect a president that the rest of the country doesn’t want! Obviously, it works!

Then I get to Ms. Dowd’s’ column. I don’t know why I read her crap, but I do. Every week. I guess I just have a need to hear her whine. This week was different though. Ms. Dowd is so distraught these days that she can’t even write her own column. She’s now reprinting e-mails her brother has authored. It sounds like the poor girl had a lousy Thanksgiving. Apparently, according to Ms. Dowd, she comes from a very right leaning family. She must be the black sheep. I think her family may even say grace before the meal and you know that has to turn her stomach. Her brother’s e-mail reads like a letter from the Republican Party thanking you for the generous donation. I think her brothers may pick on her a bit. Repeating things conservative pundits have said about her. I have to believe she has a pretty thick skin though. How else could she write the shit she writes?

I would link to the column, but the NY Times requires readers to log in. Here’s her brother’s e-mail:

"Ladies and Gentlemen,
Now, just as four years ago, I breathe a huge sigh of relief and rejoice in the common sense of the American voting public. Congratulations to President Bush for winning re-election in a poker game played with a stacked deck. No candidate, including Richard Nixon, ever had to endure the biased and unfair tactics of our major media in their attempt to influence the outcome of an election. ... He never complained, just systematically set about delivering the same consistent message. You may remember that four years ago, I felt physically ill watching the Democrats try to legislate their way to the presidency. ...
A very big thank you to Michael Moore, Susan Sarandon, Rob Reiner, Bill Maher, Barbra Streisand, Alec Baldwin, Al Franken and Jon Stewart for your involvement. You certainly energized the base. Now, please have the courage of your convictions and leave the country.
To Bob Shrum - Cut your fee.
To Mike McCurry, Joe Lockhart and Paul Begala - You don't seem quite as smart without a great candidate.
To The New York Times and The Washington Post - If Bush and Reagan were so stupid, how did they both go four for four in elections involving two of our biggest states and the presidency without your endorsement?
We do not live in a secular country. There are all sorts of people of faith that place moral values over personal freedoms. They are not all 'wacky evangelicals.' They are people who don't like Howard Stern piping a hard porn show over the airwaves and wrapping himself in the freedom of the First Amendment. They don't like being told that a young girl does not have to seek her mother's counsel about an abortion. They don't like seeing an eight-month-old fetus having his head punctured and his brains sucked out. They don't like being told the Pledge of Allegiance, a moment of silent prayer and the words 'under God' are offensive to an enlightened few so nobody should be allowed to use them. ... My wife and I picked our sons' schools based on three criteria: 1) moral values 2) discipline 3) religious maintenance - in that order. We have spent an obscene amount of money doing this and never regretted a penny. Last week on the news, I heard that the Montgomery County school board voted to include a class with a 10th-grade girl demonstrating how to put a condom on a cucumber and a study of the homosexual lifestyle. The vote was 6-0. I feel better about the money all the time.
To Dan Rather - Good luck in your retirement.
To Gavin Newsom - Thanks for all of the great shots of the San Francisco couples embracing their mates at City Hall in direct defiance of the law.
To P. Diddy - 'Vote or Die' might need a little work.
To John Edwards - Thanks for being there.
To my friends - only 1,460 days until the next election. Stay vigilant. The Democrats, CBS, the NY Times and the Post may think Hillary is the perfect antidote for all those 'stupid' voters out there.
Best regards, Kevin"

The only good thing I can say about the editorial pages lately is thank God that Krugman is on some kind of hide until it’s over sabbatical and to Maureen Dowd I say, keep those e-mails coming! Maureen, this has been the best column I’ve ever read from you!
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Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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