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The Ugly American
Thursday, November 04, 2004
 
Received this in an e-mail this morning and found it kind of amusing, so I thought I'd share.


Subject: "But They Can Vote"!!

While looking at a house, my friend asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, “Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
But she can vote.

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an In-duh-visual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said,"Uh. Pacific."
But he can vote.

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard one of the admin. assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
But she can vote.

I was in a high school advanced physics class and the teacher was talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic waves on the battlefield to burst enemy soldiers' chests.
One In-duh-visual in the class spoke up and said, "Well that’s stupid! Why don't they just wear headphones?"
And a few years later, he can vote.
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the passenger side door's map pocket.
But she can vote.

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
But she can vote.

I was hanging out with a conservative friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?"
I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
But she can vote.

My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?"
To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."
But he can vote.

I was at a convenience store buying a 99-cent "Behemoth Gulp" or some such thing. The cost with tax was $1.02. I only had a $5 bill.
The clerk asked if I had two pennies. I said I didn't. She said, "We'll take a couple from here," and got two pennies out of her penny cup at the register. She handed me back my change: $4 in bills and the two pennies.
But she can vote.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
But she can vote.

I really hope they don’t, but they can!
 
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Not sure if I am THE ugly American, but I must be AN ugly American, because some Canadian told me so!!!

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Location: Virginia Beach, United States

20 year Navy vet, originally from NJ now living in Virginia Beach and yeah, Life Is Good!

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